RE-LAX-A-SHUN

The Art and Science of doing nothing.

That is the definition of relaxation according to Wiki. The article goes on to say:

A human condition of flowing vital energy bringing about a state of improved health and well being. Effective relaxation may be referred to as rejuvenation.

I think it seems quite a bit nicer to just focus on the art and science of doing NOTHING. For me, it is quite hard to do when I'm in the vortex of home. And it is exactly why being away here on the Vermont/ New Hampshire border works so very well.

The children get to reconnect with cows and milk, chicken and eggs, snow and each other. We get to reconnect with friends, green living, liberal conversation and each other!

There may be an art to it, perhaps it is a science but it works for me.

Here is wishing you some effective relaxation which may in fact lead to rejuvenation!

Vermont State of Mind

We're heading out for our annual Vermont/New Hampshire New Years Holiday! As we prepare to leave, I'm aware that this time last year we were gearing up for the Primaries. It was an exciting, tense time...and it feels as though a million years have passed.

It has been a tremendously exciting and interesting year on so many levels. I'll be certain to unpack it as time goes on.

For now...no unpacking, just packing. Suffice it to say I'm far more relaxed than I was a year ago.

I'll be short on postings for a while, but will leave you with a few glimpses of our own little corner of Vermont right here in New Jersey. Our brisk winter walk today reminded me of that happy bumper sticker: Vermont is not just a place, it is a state of mind.

Know Hope.

Merry Merry Christmas!

Today is always a day about family and thinking about the year past and the year ahead. During our family Christmas service, my aunt shared the following from Obama's Christmas Message

Now more than ever, we must rededicate ourselves to the notion that we share a common destiny as Americans – that I am my brother’s keeper, I am my sister’s keeper. Now, we must all do our part to serve one another; to seek new ideas and new innovation; and to start a new chapter for our great country.

The full video is available here.

My uncle shared a piece of FDR's Inaugural Address given nearly 75 years ago. The historical connections were clear and gave us all a sense of comfort. We have weathered these storms before and together we can do it again. (We have nothing to fear but fear itself.)

Obama has a strong spiritual sensibility. The words he chooses give comfort during these difficult times. Comfort will not solve our economic woes but it is the basis for hope, for the belief that we can and will move ahead. That it will be alright.

Such words were a wonderful extra gift on this glorious Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas

We intended to head to New York City tonight. See "The Tree" and attend worship at the Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church where a YDS buddy is now the pastor.

Well, the weather changed our plans for us.

And, as the full orchestra and three choirs opened this evening's worship at The Westside Presbyterian Church nearer to home, it seemed we made the right decision.

The presentation of Once In Royal David's City was like none I'd ever heard, I could barely choke back the tears.

Ministermom had never heard the third and fourth stanzas of that carol...

And, through all his wondrous childhood,
he would honor and obey,
love and watch the lowly maiden
in whose gentle arms he lay:
Christian children all must be
mild, obedient, good as he.

For he is our childhood's pattern,
day by day like us he grew;
he was little, weak and helpless,
tears and smiles like us he knew.
and he feeleth for our sadness,
and he shareth in our gladness.

We didn't get obedience or any form of mild from our cherubs during the rest of the worship...but there was great joy and gladness in various forms. We wish you the same!

Merry Christmas to all!

Faith of Our Fathers

This story has left a lump in my throat.

It seems that Obama has decided to take his oath of office placing his hand on the same Bible that Lincoln used in 1861. It has not been used since. The deep lines of connection between the President who stood up for blacks in this country with no voice...to the first African American President of the United States.

Say that a few times...it takes a while for it to sink in.

And what is more...Obama rallied so brilliantly against the "he is not one of us" meme. He is himself, he is a child of God not the evil other. (whatever that means).

During this season when we hear angels singing "Be Not Afraid", I am reminded how proud I am that as a nation, we were not. We are not.

January 20th...here we come!

Words To Ponder

Dealing with difficult children is like watching a garden grow.
Resist the temptation to pull up the plants to check the roots.

In difficult times children may thrive on conflict.
If you take the bait the battle rages.
Instead step back, breathe deeply, relax, and stay at your center.
Battles require two parties
One fighting alone soon tires.

Are there times when, despite all efforts, you must impose your will?
Of course.
But remember, those times are far fewer than you can imagine.

Is this current battle really necessary?
--- William Martin, Parents Tao Te Ching

*****
Trying substituting the word children with the word PEOPLE.

As I continue to find the place where I and my son can meet hearts, it occurs to me that this little quotation applies to all of life: to yoga, to children, relationships, the church, politics...the world.

Kinda covers it all, huh?

Light in Darkness

Yesterday was the shortest day of the year...and the longest night. Winter Solstice is a time of welcoming winter and reminding ourselves that from here on in, the days will be getting longer.

In our family we light LOTS of candles for the solstice. Last night there was some spontaneous singing of Happy Birthday... just because.

I don't LOVE winter as much as some. Yet I always feel hopeful during this time of year because I know that despite the cold and dark of winter -- spring will come again. And there is always something to enjoy about the inward time of year.

As you light your candles, I offer a translation of a Sanskrit Light Invocation. I particularly love the last phrase that describes God as THE VITAL ESSENCE OF ILLUMINATION.

I offer myself to the Light, the Auspicious Lord,
who is the True Teacher within and without
Who assumes the forms of Reality, Consciousness and Bliss
Who is never absent and is full of peace,
Independent of His Existence,
He is the vital essence of illumination.

I'm Smitten

As I mentioned before, I've been quite taken with a new web site discovery that removes me from my state of wonkiness. The Smitten Kitchen is really a blog with great photographs of food and recipes. Today I made the Brownie Bites (found under the cookie icon).

YUM.

And in case I go too far into Martha Stewart land...as I was taking photos to post (and plagarize Smitten Kitchen herself) I noticed a sign of hope amid the disarray of my own kitchen.

Literally.

Lesson of the day: despite the clutter that may confuse your life, there is always, always a sign of hope. Seek and ye shall find.

A Politics of Conscience

Several readers have emailed me privately about their disappointment, even outrage at the choice of Rick Warren. The concern centers around Warren's strident attitude and language against homosexuals and all others he views as other.

As I have already posted, I too was disappointed but not so fully surprised. Back in June of 2007, Obama gave the keynote address at the UCC General Synod Meeting. It was this speech that gave me the final nudge to get involved with his campaign. In it he refers directly to Warren as "his friend". Below is a portion of his speech where he describes why he is supportive of certain members of the Christian Right.

I think the issue here is not that Obama condones all of the theology of the Right, but he is unwilling to throw the baby out with the bath water as it were. This is by no means an excuse.

By no means...but it might shed light on his willingness to keep the door open.

Why keep the door open? I think it is because he believes as do many evangelicals that societies ills are "not problems in search of a 10 point plan, but are moral problems, rooted in both societal indifference and individual callousness – in the imperfections of man."

I pulled a piece of this speech found below. The full text is here.

Somehow, somewhere along the way, faith stopped being used to bring us together and started being used to drive us apart. It got hijacked. Part of it's because of the so-called leaders of the Christian Right, who've been all too eager to exploit what divides us. At every opportunity, they've told evangelical Christians that Democrats disrespect their values and dislike their Church, while suggesting to the rest of the country that religious Americans care only about issues like abortion and gay marriage; school prayer and intelligent design. There was even a time when the Christian Coalition determined that its number one legislative priority was tax cuts for the rich. I don't know what Bible they're reading, but it doesn't jibe with my version.

But I'm hopeful because I think there's an awakening taking place in America. People are coming together around a simple truth – that we are all connected, that I am my brother's keeper; I am my sister's keeper. And that it's not enough to just believe this – we have to do our part to make it a reality. My faith teaches me that I can sit in church and pray all I want, but I won't be fulfilling God's will unless I go out and do the Lord's work.

That's why pastors, friends of mine like Rick Warren and T.D. Jakes and organizations like World Vision and Catholic Charities are wielding their enormous influence to confront poverty, HIV/AIDS, and the genocide in Darfur. Religious leaders like my friends Rev. Jim Wallis and Rabbi David Saperstein and Nathan Diament are working for justice and fighting for change. And all across the country, communities of faith are sponsoring day care programs, building senior centers, and in so many other ways, taking part in the project of American renewal.

When I told my husband about the Warren choice, he reflexively said "are you sure it was his choice?" After 8 years of a puppet president, he couldn't help but wonder. I take heart, at least, that all of the choices being made are indeed Obama's choices. We may not understand them at first glance or agree with them in the long run...but I have to believe that we are at least on a better course moving toward a better future with strong leadership at the helm.

May it be so.

The Purpose Driven President

I may be one of very few people who was actually waiting to hear the announcement of who would give the invocation at Obama's Inauguration.

It was a bit of professional curiosity mixed with a belief that Obama would take great pains to chose someone whose presence would speak beyond his or her words.

Let's face it...I didn't think it would be The Rev. Jeremiah Wright. But I was hoping for The Rev. John Thomas, current General Conference Minister of the United Church of Christ. But that would have had no impact whatsoever I suppose.

Well...it will be Rick Warren. Yeah, Mr. Purpose Driven Guy. One of the 25 most influential evangelists in this country (according to Time)

And a purpose driven decision was made by Obama....to reach out to the Christianists, to reach out and offer forgiveness to the guy who wasn't all that cordial during his Saddleback Forum.

I suppose the choice makes tons of sense on a lot of levels. Its so sensible, its so reach across the church aisle, its so...Obama.

Just Say No

When I put my wonk hat on, I find myself thinking about this business of filling Hillary Clinton's senate seat. As a born and bread New Yawka, and as someone who was living in Westchester when Hill and Bill moved in, I have to say NO.

To the notion of Caroline Kennedy.

Now don't get me wrong. I love Caroline Kennedy and was quite moved by her willingness to step up to the plate for Obama. Her Op-Ed in the New York Times on behalf of Obama was beautifully written and was insightful.

But in my gut I still don't think that she is the right choice. Not that I know, right?

Well, I recently reconnected with a high school friend who is a Poly Sci professor at Brown with a specialty on the history of the senate. She sent me this article that she wrote on the subject.

In it she highlights the things that make for a good senator...and it highlights the things that a senator actually does. It is a quick and good read if you are interested.

Suffice it to say that I think my gut it right. I don't think she is the right choice.

That said, the NY Times reports today that she might be just the one to help David Patterson raise enough money for his campaign in 2010.

Ah, politics.

The Smitten Kitchen

I meant to note that when I was looking for a copy of those bits o' heath bar cookies, I came across a web site called The Smitten Kitchen.

In addition to some great recipes...this site which I am just learning about has some absolutely DELICIOUS PHOTOGRAPHS.

If you love photography and cooking...you'll love this site. If you're at work, and you're hungry, check it out maybe it will help.

As one not so smitten with the kitchen, this site's a keeper all the same.

Be Thou My Vision

We have been having a difficult time with our older son lately. Not sure what it is made of but it isn't pretty. And, it is bringing out the ugly in both mommy and daddy as well.

To my mind nothing makes you feel more like a helpless child than parenting. There are times when I just want to scream and shout "I want my mommy." It is a helpless out of control feeling. Not unlike what a child must feel like some of the time.

It is at those times that I most need to remember there is a Parent to whom I can turn. An energy upon which I can rest.

Often, I forget.

I awoke this morning with the words to my favorite hymn rolling around my head. Perhaps it was a gentle nudge from that Source tapping me on the shoulder...

Hey, you...I'm here if you need me.

Looking for the words, I found This video. It isn't great, but it is the closest to Van Morrison's rendition which I love.

The words were derived from an ancient Irish poem and date back to the 3rd century. The first 2 verses are my favorites...

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Governor Patterson is now recommending an "Obestity Tax" on all non-diet sodas.

HUH?

Even this liberal democrat thinks that is crossing the line...imagine what the "get government off our backs" types will say.

What about potato chips, candy bars, Starbuck's Frappaccino's, and what about Fat Free Half and Half? Doesn't the Gov. know that the amount of oil and corn syrup in that crap creates fat cells too?!

I realize the City is in debt, and I get that we need to raise taxes, but I'm pretty sure we'll have to do better than that. And if he honestly believes that making soda more expensive will "put teens and children on a path to healthier eating"...

....he should see what the "no sugar" rule in our elementary school did to our children. I can't say but I can assure you a donut is involved.

As my mama always said, "stupid is as..."

Well, you know the rest.

Where is Forrest Gump when you need him?

Justified

In purely profane terms to be justified is to be right. Spiritually speaking, it goes one step further by offering absolution.

To be declared innocent or guiltless...to be absolved, justified.

And so it is that I have declared myself justified in all manner of speaking. Justified that I nearly went crazy worrying about Sarah Palin during this election!

For now it seems that not even John McCain thinks he would vote for her in 2012. This little blurb is a quick read and a nice eye-opener. McCain can only admit that she invigorated his campaign...and then refers to himself as a still warm corpse.

Ouch.

I felt further justified when I heard Colin Powell clearly state that Sarah Palin had a polarizing effect on the entire Republican Party.

So there.

She invigorated by dividing, polarizing and tearing people down. I can only say I'm relieved that it did not work. Grateful that we were not fully inspired by this negativity.

Maybe now I can put it to rest...

Thought For The Week

There are only three qualities you must teach your children.
Compassion, patience, and simplicity.
Some would say this is absurd.
They would teach instead, ambition, drive and consumption and say it is the way of success.

But if they learn patience, they see the world as it truly is.
If they learn simplicity, they see themselves as they truly are.
And, it they learn compassion, they heal themselves and the world.

Compassion, patience and simplicity cannot be taught until they are experienced.
And when we experience them, we lose the need to teach them.
We live them instead, and then our children learn.
-- William Martin, The Parent's Tao Te Ching

Change You Can Taste

So I moved out of my comfort zone this cookie baking season. The year it is all about change, right?

In a fit of giddiness, I purchased Heathbar Crunch Bits and Ghiradelli Chocolate Chips instead of Nestle's. And to make it even crazier, I made the cookie recipe on the back of the Heath Toffee Bits bag AND then added the chips.

I'm only posting this because the recipe was only slightly different than Toll House, but the result was quite different.

2 Sticks of Butter
1 cup white sugar
1 cup light brown sugar
3 eggs
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla
2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. creme of tarter (or sub with 1 tsp. lemon juice...it binds the egg or something)
3 1/2 cups white flour
1 package Heath Toffee Bits
1-12oz. package Ghiradelli semi-sweet bits.

bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes. Make 6 dozen cookies.

I've been to two cookie exchanges in as many weeks, and I do think this is the basic comfort cookie with a twist. It is much crunchier and not as chewy as Toll House.

Okay...that was my Bree Van de Kamp moment. Thanks for listening...and let me know if you try the cookies.

No More BoBo

There is nothing quite like a peacefully sleeping child. Just makes you want to sigh...ah. But it has taken us a very long week to get to this place.

On Monday, December 1st...we gave up the pacifier (the bobo as it was affectionately known). It has been a cranky, proud, sleepless, treat-filled, whiny and did I mention cranky week. During this time I have been consumed with the task, knowing full-well that the only thing required would be a tolerance for pain...my sweet little one's and the rest of ours as well.

Raising the pain threshold is not easy, and certainly seems to go against human instinct. A parent's job is to soothe, to salve, to make it better. He is flesh of my own flesh, how can I possibly allow him to suffer?

And yet, in order for a child to learn that he is viable on his own, he must be given the opportunity to succeed in all sorts of ways both big and small every day of his life.

The best gifts I can give to my children are such occasions to see that they are able, that things are possible for them.

Not painless, but possible.

Yesterday, as we were packing a little bag with trains, and cars and a sippy cup in preparation to leave the house, I had the fleeting thought that we were not packing a bobo!

In the quiet of my own heart I felt free and quite proud.

Moments later, came a little voice out of the blue: "I happy mommy."

Not painless but possible.


You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

MIDDLE Age?!?!

Well, it wasn't my imagination. Certain designers are beginning to pin their hopes on the "Michelle Look". They are showcasing pearls, and broaches, and other MIDDLE AGE LOOKS.

This terrific article is called "Middle Age Finds Its Muse"...yes, Michelle will be a lovely muse for all of those OVER 40 retailers.

But do you really have to call us...mmmmiddle age?

Yikes, when did that happen?

Karmic Justice

The term Karma, as I have always understood is defined as "what you do". The term describes the natural order of cause and effect that occurs in life.

Quite simply, what you DO has CONSEQUENCES. Good or bad, welcomed or un-welcomed, desired or unwanted our actions cause re-action in the grand scheme of life.

In my few and far between calmer moments an accident would simply require the query: "Oh, the juice has spilled, now what needs to happen". The calm observations of cause and effect are often the only effective way to elicit the kinds of responses you might want from children. They don't feel judged, you don't feel angry, the spiller wipes the juice up. All is well.

That's life...stuff happens which makes other stuff happen. Karma.

I read a wonderful piece by James Fallows this past weekend regarding Obama's appointment of Eric Shinseki as Chairman of Veteran's Affairs. It was followed by another post on Sullivan's Blog that offers a video of Obama talking on Sunday's Meet The Press.

Aside from being a brilliant insight into this appointment, it also showcases the reality that given enough time, we come to see the wisdom in the "mistakes" we think we've made.

It may sound trite, but a door closed somewhere in life often leads to an opening somewhere else. We just have to wait for the cycle to complete itself...and render those mistakes perfect (in retrospect, of course).

Patience and an open mind are key.

Now, if I can just remember that next time the juice spills...

OOOOOO, Of cOurse

What was I thinking? Barbara Walter's person of the year was...our President Elect....

I guess I've been so traumatized by Sarah Palin that I wasn't thinking clearly. So sorry.

And yes, it makes quite good sense: He is the person of the year and hopefully the next 8 years as well!

Advent

This first season of the Christian Year officially began on Sunday. Advent, from the Latin adventus means "coming". It is a preparatory time to ready one's heart, mind and soul for the gift given to us in the Bethlehem baby.

This year I am acutely aware of preparation, of being ready to receive the gifts of A New Day, and a New Time, for a new generation. This is a season of anticipation. And there is so much for us to look forward to. And so much to that concerns us too.

We may be looking ahead but we're not there yet.

This is our age old conundrum. Life between the now and the not yet.

So how do we live in the meantime?

The best way to live well is to live "as if". Live as if what you most wish for has come to pass. Live as if it will be alright because it will be alright. Live as if your life and your actions make a difference and then see what happens...in that mean time.

Far from being wishful thinking or seeming deep in denial, living as if allows us to stay present to the good that is happening all around us right now. And, it fortifies us to continue the journey in spite of the concern for what might be.

But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Romans 8:24-25

Its No Secret Barbara, Con't

Hold the phone! I may be wrong about Barbara's interview "surprise"...in fact, it is possible that her "I'm sure you'll guess who it is" comment was meant to indicate (drum roll, please)

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

We'll just have to wait and see!